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As part of our weekly chat events on our Discord server (follow link on front page of this website to join) it has been suggested that we hold an event on the subject of humiliation within BDSM. The suggestion is an excellent one but humiliation is such a vast subject and it is literally different for everyone who experiences it, so how do you cover a subject like humiliation?


The primary issue with humiliation as a subject is that everyone has their own tolerances, what humiliates one will literally do nothing to another. For example lots of seasoned cross dressers do not feel in the least bit humiliated by cross dressing as a activity, it is part of their identity and many feel empowered by it. By contrast a male slave who has never cross dressed and is then made to dress by their dominant may well feel deeply humiliated…….so essentially the same act has two different impacts and in essence the same act becomes two different acts because one is a forced cross dressing and the other is a willing cross dressing…….confused yet?


Humiliation for a dominant is a minefield, beyond the fact that the same act can have very different impacts on different individuals you then have the fact that for some certain forms of humiliation will cease to be BDSM and verge on abuse in the eye of the recipient……the lesson being that humiliation in BDSM needs limits just like any physical act will need limits and you can only achieve healthy humiliation through discussion, negotiation and ultimately agreed limits.


Ultimately BDSM humiliation is humiliation with consent but at the same time to truly be impactful there is a need to push up against the agreed boundaries, tread too gently and you end up with humiliation which just does not humiliate.


Our best advice, communicate, know your sub, set the limits and then play with some confidence.


As this is such a vast subjects we would love to hear how humiliation works for other people, please do leave comments with your thoughts and experiences, these will help shape our future chat events as well as making interesting reading……



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